Ouch!

You’ll have to forgive me, I started at the gym today … oowe … and even though it has been only a couple of hours, my muscles are sore … even the ones I didn’t know I had … ow.

Now, exercising is pretty much an expletive in my vocabulary. The extent for me is generally using the handle on the recliner to get up or relax … walking consists of getting up from my chair — exercising — and going into the kitchen for a snack … and cardio-vascular work-outs are pump fisting during a close football game.

It’s always been that way. When it took me so long to get halfway up the rope as a freshman, Brother Bill sort of gave me a pass the rest of the way. Besides, I was part of the “team” and we sort of had special privileges. {Okay, while my teammates ran around, posted, picked, rebounded, dribbled and battled the boards, I was the team manager and scorekeeper … figured it out early, brains trump brawn.}

In my defense, I have had spurts of exercising ambition … but I really have to be motivated — and poked and prodded. And the condition doesn’t usually last too long.

Karen and I used to walk. Well, we went to the grocery store … that has to count for something. Actually, Karen would walk up each aisle dutifully tossing items into the cart. She usually chose that time to talk to me. I can’t tell you the times she was talking to thin air as I stopped to sample the cheese or newest juice flavor or cookies or snacks. But, hey, I always caught up to her, although I do remember a time in Wegman’s when I couldn’t find her and ended up walking — yes, walking — back and forth trying to locate my missing wife.

A good friend, Sonni, has been the latest to prod me. She said she wanted to start exercising and asked me to get some information about a new place in town. I said “Sure” {duh} and next thing I knew we were signed up. Again, in my defense, I had intentions of joining a gym. I even had an application for the health center at the local college … for about a year and a half.

Now, I have to tell you about Sonni. She is the exact opposite of me. She leads an active life, is always on the go, takes care of herself and eats things like salad, vegetables and skinless chicken. I’m a little more sedentary, am quite content relaxing in my armchair, don’t take care of myself and would prefer sausage and peppers, bratwurst and just about anything deep fried. I did, however, find a new recipe involving green beans — wrapped in bacon — that I can’t wait to try.

And she has tried to kill me a few times.

I had been walking — mostly along the lake or on the trails — so I thought it would be fun to walk the trail at Taughannock Falls State Park. Taughannock Falls State Park’s namesake waterfall is one of the outstanding natural attractions of the Northeast. Taughannock Falls plunges 215 feet past rocky cliffs that tower nearly 400 feet above the gorge. Gorge and rim trails offer spectacular views from above the falls and from below at the end of the gorge trail.

Sounds good, right? The south rim is just 1 1/8 miles long … downhill. It was a piece of cake. But we had to take the north rim back, 1 ½ miles … uphill … with steep stairs. I knew I was in trouble when we took the wrong fork — only ¾ mile along the gorge bed to the base of the falls and had to double back to take that north rim. Sonni — who has walked the trails numerous times — kept asking me if I was okay as we trudged back up the mountain with numerous rest stops along the way. The only thing that kept me going was I knew the car was at the end and I could book it to Kinney’s for a gallon of water! When my heart rate returned to somewhat normal, my dear Sonni said she was surprised I suggested the walk at the Gorge. But did she tell me before we started? Nooooo!

Then there was last Christmas. We decided to drive into New York City to see the decorations. We parked at 38th Street and walked up Fifth Avenue to Central Park, taking a couple of detours along the way for special sights like Bryant Park, Rockefeller Center, Trump Towers and Tiffany’s {all floors} and back along Broadway. It was a great trip, although I had the wrong socks for my boots and developed a blister on big toe. Actually, I ripped the skin right off my big toe. I needed to walk with a cane for a couple days thereafter.

And I said “Sure” to a gym membership?

Seriously, I’m looking forward to trimming a few pounds and expanding my lung capacity. But I’m sure Karen, Sonni and my physician are somehow colluding to make sure it happens.

THOUGHT TO REMEMBER: God wants to turn your test into a testimony.